Home > Uncategorized > why i even let you go, i don't know


i miss you too much

i know i messed up; i know you messed up; we both did, a lot

and it still hurts to love you

it hurts to see you, hear your voice, watch you laugh

but i don’t know how to ______ without you

fill in the blank

with anything, everything, all the things we did and never did

you healed me and held me

even when i was hell on wheels to you, you were always there

and then you broke me

shut me down, kicked me out, threw me across the damn ocean

but i still came crawling back

you pushed me away, again and again, further and further, past all oceans, all Earths, all infinities

i never stopped crawling back, i never stop crawling back

i need you, it doesn’t mean i don’t hate you

but i’ll never stop loving you

i’m sorry. i put it on you for the longest time. blamed all my pain and sorrow on you. broke you. for my healing. and left you stranded, drowning, didn’t even ask if you could swim. drowning in the darkness, in the waves, without as much as a light to guide you back to me. but please do come back.

now, or 10 minutes, 10 weeks, 10 years, whenever. come back.